by Rev. Joseph Byrne

    My wife recently asked me to come out in the yard to see something interesting. What she showed me was a group of ants working together to carry a large object toward their nest. Usually you see one ant carrying something to the nest, and seldom do you see a group of ants carrying one object. Their cooperation was commendable and they were successful working together to accomplish their task.

    Often we humans need help from others. Sometimes it is just encouragement or someone to lend an ear so we can share our stuff. Sometimes it is the need for physical help, like setting up for a large meeting, or carrying something too large for one person to handle. When we find ourselves working together, and doing it well, which means doing it joyfully and fully present, then we get a sense of community. The sense of community is a rewarding feeling. Why is it rewarding? Because we are flocking mammals and when we do what is ours to do it gives us a sense of community and a sense of belonging.

    A complaint I hear often is how disappointed someone is when they asked for help and the person they asked refused. They are dismayed that this person, who they thought was committed to them as a friend, did not help them when they were in need. I often remind them that we never know the journey of another. The old saying that we should not condemn someone until we have walked a mile in their shoes is a good saying. If someone is unwilling to help, when we think they should be willing, then they are going through some stuff that has them withdrawing from their proper place in the human community. The last thing they need if they are withdrawing is for us to distance ourselves from them due to our disappointment in not getting what we wanted.

    It is so easy to reject someone, anyone can do it. It takes a mature spiritual person to continue to be a true friend to someone who is going through a challenge, especially when they are projecting their stuff onto us. But, are we going to abandon our quest to experience authentic community just because someone important to us is having a tough time? I hope not. Separation is seldom ever the right course of action.

    Too often I have heard, "I will never talk to them again." I know one woman who has not spoken to her mother in 40 years because of some silly thing her mother did. Lowering our standards of community due to the shortcomings of others does not do anything but propagate the suffering of humanity. We, as spiritual mature beings, are here to end the suffering, not to promote it. That means helping others even when it might appear that we should do otherwise.

    The thing every human needs, at all times, even and especially when they are misbehaving, is to experience genuine love from others. Getting the love we need is the single motive behind all we do. And the more we are misbehaving the more we are crying out for unconditional love.

    Jesus said that we should bless those who curse us. Why? Because the reason they are cursing us is they are not getting enough love and if we curse them back then they fall deeper into their despair. If, on the other hand, we bless them, if we insist on seeing nothing less than their divinity, then they will begin to heal.

    It is the purpose of spiritually mature people to facilitate the healing of those who are suffering. That means showing up to help them by sharing genuine love and concern for them even when they are misbehaving.

    Whatever we focus on increases. If we focus on their negative qualities then they will get worse. If we focus on their divinity then we will see that in them more often. The most helpful and the most spiritual thing we can do for anyone is to see them as a divine being and love them despite how they are behaving. We help others because they are divine expressions of the one presence, God.

    I am Rev. Joseph Byrne, the minister at Unity by the Sea Church in Corpus Christi. We are located at 3100 S. Alameda Street and our Sunday Service is at 11:00 a.m. (361) 882-8363. www.websyte.com/unity/bythesea or email: unitybts@swbell.net. Our television program, "In Search Of Higher Consciousness" is on Public Cable Access Channel 18 Sunday at 11:30 a.m. and Tuesday at 5:30 p.m. •